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Q. I am a thirty three year old mother of two sons. My husband is happy with two children and does not want any more. This sounds very weird, but I feel like I am supposed to have another child. I can feel a soul around me sometimes, and I dream of another child – a daughter. Should I tell my husband that I want another child? He’ll think I am nuts, and you may too. But this is real to me, and I need some direction.

A. No I do not think that you are nuts. I have counseled women who have felt that they were supposed to bring a special soul into this world. This feeling comes to women in several ways: like a intuitive feeling in their heart or gut; like a message in a dream; as if they had known it all of their lives; a feeling of someone around them. I find this to be truer for women or men who have an intuitive temperament, a strong feeling nature, or a strong spirituality. I always believe communication with your partner is best. Tell him how you feel and what is happening to you so he understands the situation. I would not try to change his mind right now. Rather, making him aware is enough.

Personally, I believe that if this child is to be born, he/she will be, and nature will take its own course in this regard. The best things the parents can do is keep the doors of communication open with each other, even if you agree to disagree because each of you feels differently. For the parents who will welcome the child, attune to the soul and feel it through so that each of you can be at peace with it, whether or not a birth happens.

Am I Too Old for a Child?

Q. I am a 37-year-old single woman. I have a great career, and make good money. I travel when I want to, and I have a steady partner to be with when I choose. Sounds perfect right? I think that I would like to have a child, and I cannot make up my mind. What do other women my age do?

A. Research indicates that single career women who don’t stop and plan to have a child in their life, don’t have child. Time passes, and they are childless. In truth, intellectualizing, studying, and talking about having a child will educate your mind, but it will never answer the biological or maternal instinct that pulls at your heart strings. Having a child is an emotional decision that takes intellectual planning, and in the end it will be the heart that helps you decide.

My advice is to stop talking about it with friends and quit reading the books. Let the mind finally be quiet and calm so you can hear your heart and feel deeply the emotions that call you. In a quiet or contemplative moment, put your hand on your heart. Center yourself there until you feel like you are sitting right in the middle of your chest. Ask yourself truthfully, “Is it for my highest good and that of the child’s good, to birth a child at this time in my life?” Listen and feel closely until you recognize a strong yes or no. Whatever answer you get is truer than what you can decide intellectually. Good luck.