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Is There Laughter After Death? Back to The Expanded Sky |
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| by Alice Wisler | |||
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Call it corny or even at times, morbid, but yes, my sense of humor did bring comfort after the death of my child.
Some marry for the chateau on the river, the shiny sports car or even for diamonds, but I married my husband, David, for his sense of humor. From the moment we met we found things to tease each other and laugh about. After David proposed to me, my mother questioned if we were the "ones for each other." Since we'd only just met, and dated six weeks before our engagement, there had not been much time to see us together. But my dad smiled at her ponderings and said something about Rolla living in the refrigerator. Her eyes lit and she joined his smile. Yes, who else would be able to create characters and funny stories on an ongoing basis like her daughter and future son-in-law? | |||
| More from Alice Wisler | |||
| When a loved one dies, society
thinks the furthest thing from grieving is laughing. Anguish, tears, mourning and wailing are the more typical
ways in which we function. True; yet, there is a place for a respite from these. You can only cry so many hours
in a row. Then it's time for a diversion. Pop the comedy video into the VCR. Watch Chevy Chase strive to out-do
his neighbors with the most Christmas lights and have to deal with his less-than-perfect relatives. Bereaved parents, especially those who have had a child die, read a lot on grief. In between the heavy reading, throw in a few chapters of Dave Barry. Let his words produce the laughter that comes from the depths of your belly. "Whatever gets you through the night, is all right," were the words to a popular song years ago. I think these words work for those in the throes of early grief. If laughter helps and provides diversion from your sorrow, use it. It's certainly
not harmful like drinking too much or kicking the neighbor's cat can be. In the seclusion of our own home, David
and I were even able to laugh at some of the platitudes spoken to us (perhaps folks meant to be comforting)
because it was much healthier than constantly being angry with people who knew no better.
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Living Life from the Graveyard Grief Meets the Answering Machine There is Nothing Wrong with You! Scared to Death of Dying and Denying Grief | ||
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Find something funny to laugh about at least once a day. If you can laugh with someone, do that. In time you will be able to record the things your loved one laughed about. At the hospital where Daniel was treated, every morning an elderly man would stand at Daniel's closed room door calling, "Newspaper, newspaper!" I would reply, "No, thank you." Then Daniel and I would look at each other and wait. Sure enough the man – he never missed his line – would then cry, "Have a nice day!" He'd proceed to the next room door to call out the same words. Daniel and I would giggle. Daniel had an infectious giggle, causing me to laugh and then we'd both be laughing. When I recall this treasured memory, I can hear Daniel's mimicking four-year-old voice, "Newspaper! Newspaper! Have a nice day!" Remember that laughing doesn't mean that you have forgotten your loved one or that you still don't cry or anguish over his death. It is just a way to break from the tears and sad feelings for a while. It is another way, a vital way, to bring healing to your heart. Sites to visit: Laughter.com World Laughter Tour Read the article "How Laughter Works" at the web site: How Stuff Works | |||
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