I am fortunate, and always mindful of that fact, that I don't feel as though no one is at the helm for my journey. I am one of those lucky people who always, from as far back as I can recall, felt like there was indeed a reason for my being here. I felt and still do feel that some of those reasons have unfolded while others are still being cooked. "What to do with myself" has simply never been an issue for me. Many other people have shared with me how their lives' greatest struggles keep bringing them back to a central question of existence -- What am I "supposed" to be doing here? What's the point of all this?

I truly have no idea why I have an internal steering mechanism while so many of my peers claim they do not. Since my work has always put me in helping positions, I've pondered the question for decades, hoping to help others find their own motivation. There are entire fields of scientific study about motivation, from the physical to the cognitive to the spiritual. It really does seem as though myriad world problems could be solved if only more individuals were clear within themselves about what's making them tick and where their true goals lie.

Now, all of this puts me at odds with my buddhist leanings, those being supposedly centered on the active cultivation of "just being." Without going off on yet another tangent here, and believe me, it would unravel into a boringly long monologue, I'll just say about the clash of buddhism with this search for existence's reason that it's much, much easier to be a buddhist when one has no children or other dependents. Once your life is coursed through and through with the needs of another being, the buddhist concept of "being" must be transformed in your own mind -- or somebody's gonna perish.

So, away from that digression... and back to the topic at hand, the "Why am I here?" question.

Having only benefitted from my own sense of determination, I naturally feel compelled to share the same with my only child. Remembering my own childhood perspective, though, I know for a fact that just because something was good for me, that doesn't mean it will be seen in the same light by those whom I love.

I remember seeing movies, the warm and sappy kind usually, that tried to teach the story of multi-generational bonding via shared purpose. Old folks passing down to their children the meaning of life, and so on. What I mostly remember about these tales was my own instant feeling of defense on behalf of the young people in the stories. To put the feeling into adult words would go something along the lines of "How dare those old people from a world that is gone propose that they (a) understand how these young people feel and think and (b) can tell the youth what they should do with their own lives?"

{Perhaps you can see why, as a child, I would never take lessons of any kind -- whether piano (I played by ear), ice skating (I glided in my own style), bowling (I just gave up), softball (I'll just stay in far right field, thanks), or virtually any other pasttime.}

I was the antithesis of an authoritarian's dream.
Thankfully, my parents were not authoritarian.
Luckily for us all, I arrived pre-loaded with a reason for being.

Without having given much thought before today to this idea of actively passing on a reason to one's children, and with the awareness that, not handled well, attempts to do so might be perceived as so much finger-wagging in my son's eyes, I am looking now at ways in which I might already have conveyed to him what I believe.

Yes, I know there are plenty of people out there for whom this is old hat, especially those who base their daily lives on any sort of political or religious dogma, but believe me (and I don't mean to scare you here, but...), there are probably even more parents who are just so busy trying to put rooves over heads and food into mouths that conscious thoughts about questions of existence just sorta take a backseat pretty much every day.

So, for me and mine, here's what I've done and what I will now continue to do with more conscientiousness:

I have told my son (who is now six years old), verbatim, that we are all here to help each other. If we could manage entirely on our own, we would each be on our own separate planets. The reason there are so many of us here on Earth and that we are each unique is that we all need that much help in various ways. We are obligated to help each other.

I have also shared with him in words the importance of courage and the inevitability of fear. We are all afraid of some things and at some times, and we do not have to let that fear stand in the way of what we must do. When my son accomplishes something that was initially scary, I verbally and specifically applaud his "bravery." We look at fear as though it were a veil through which we can bravely walk. Or run, whichever works best.

Perhaps none of the above will be enough to help my son feel as driven as I have always felt. It's quite possible that the old Hawaiian man's children and grandchildren have a much more clear and simply-navigated purpose. No doubt some of them could reject what they see as their elder's ridiculous or unachievable dreams for which they are not responsible. Like it or not, apparently they'll need a lot of that courage factor. For now anyway, I feel confidence and a bit of relief that, without much prior thought and just through our daily lives, I've clued my son in on what I think is important about our being. I'm banking on the hope that I still have quite a few years left to open more of the world's windows so he may see the how-to's of putting the why's into practice.

Yet another reason for me.