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| The Diva Speaks: Mama, What is Autumn? Back to The Family Diva Speaks |
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If you believe the advertisers, it's time to start hunkering down in prep for cooler temps. Run out and make a big splash at area waterholes before it's too frosty to tolerate. Grab the kids' sweaters and jackets from the store shelves before the next parent gets them.
Fall's a-comin'! Right? Well, maybe for about half of the U.S. population. The rest of us are still looking forward to (or dreading) at least two and in some cases four more months of high energy bills because our A/C's are blasting away at their biggest output of the year. Heck, some of us don't even bother to buy kids' heavy coats at all (they'll just outgrow them before that visit to Grandma's next year), and only overly-fashion-conscious teen girls are silly enough to wear the too-warm, must-have latest items sold to them by Manhattan-residing advertisers. For about 2/3 of the country's residents, it's not winter heating costs that we fear each year. It's the combination of summer "vacation" time with exorbitant cooling expenses. This is no killer heat wave, folks. This is plain old annual reality as it has been for centuries in about one-fifth of the land mass in the contiguous United States. The problem isn't really the weather (not even global warming!) -- the problem is the "Northeastern standard." The (Northeastern) U.S. Standard Our country is based on it, this out-dated standard that started a few centuries ago when European white people started docking their boats in the Northeastern corner of what became the U.S. Sure, for 283 years most folks in the nation lived in geographical areas that were amenable to standards based on 4 percent of the entire land mass. It's time to move on to reality now, and while it is happening, it's a damned slow process. The process of moving from any particular base of standardization to another is typically as slow as it is to educate the users of that original base. We don't often (ever?) see much reference to this need for re-education that we feel is necessary to our country's evolution. So we're doing our part now. Fall is a perfect time to start the de-programming. | |||
| A real-life example:
A bright four-year-old preschooler asked his mother last week, "Momma, when are the leaves going to change colors?"
At the tender age of four, this kid being raised in the sub-tropics has already heard the message loud and clear that when Fall comes, the leaves turn from green to red, orange, and yellow. Even without knowing where he is in the calendar, he's learned to equate the start of school with the expected seasonal change.
Fortunately, this child's mom set him straight, answering, "The leaves don't really change here, honey. They only do that in some other parts of the world. Here, they either stay green, turn brown, or fall off the tree." She finished by adding that what leaves do down here in the Fall is no different than what they do all year 'round. |
Intro: The Family Diva Speaks Delusions of Youthful Grandeur The Case for War Silly Unwieldy Varmints (SUVs) My Oldest Friend All He Really Wants Holly's Legacy Enough Hate for Everyone For Calvin, Upon His Graduation A Reason for Being Subscribe to The Blueprint: Be first to hear what's new on HTMAF |
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| Autumn Myths Another real world example of how the Myths of Autumn are based on an archaic northeastern U.S. standard: A mom we know recently picked up a local freebie parenting mag. In it appears a column on fun, crafty activities for parents and kids. This column in the September issue was all about -- you guessed it -- "fabulous foliage" and what can be done with it. Sure, leaf rubbings, scrapbooks, and the like, can all be done with leaves that are any color of the spectrum. But just the first sentence of the column -- "From crisp apples to cozy sweaters to crunching leaves, autumn is a treat for the senses..." -- was enough to cause this mom, for one, to toss the magazine in the nearest recycling receptacle. Obviously unaware of how she was displaying her standard-programmed approach, the author went on to comment that "even in warmer climates, there are plenty of opportunities to see amazing displays of foliage." We have news for her from down here. Okay, we'll give the columnist a break -- after all, it is one of those nationally produced mags that has been made to look local through advertising. She can't help it if she lives in Pennsylvania and has never ventured south of Ohio. From Autumn to a National Identity If we've convinced you that a little de-programming may be in order at your own house, here's a starter list of Northeastern standard myths. This is not what most of the world is like:
Of course, as driven by the Culture of Celebrity as Americans are, it's impossible to downplay the impact of the Northeastern standard in movies and television. Until the 1970's, it seemed that virtually all sitcoms, family-oriented movies, and even commercials were firmly rooted in the belief that folks in the entire U.S. could relate to those who grew up in the Northeast. At one point in the past few decades, some ambitious artsy types started a big campaign to bring more film production to the Gulf Coast, and suddenly the term "Third Coast" was being used in a lot of new company names. Still, if you listen closely, you'll hear the subtle message, intentional or not, that "the way things are" in the Northeast is synonymous with "American" and that "other ways" in other locales are quirky, even if admirable, "folkways" from some other (i.e. not American) culture. Obviously, some of us give far too much thought to something as seemingly insignificant as the Northeastern American standard... but we felt it important to do our part toward the de-programming of those hailing from that supposedly more bonafide region and the validation and affirmation of everyone else. On a less lofty, related note: Thankfully, some area pools have started to get the message that -- Hello! -- it's hot enough to swim nearly the whole year 'round. Unfortunately in a lot of places, just as folks are starting to squeeze out of that Northeastern calendar mold, city and state budgets for things like park pools are dwindling. So even if they'd like to remain open long into the year, many simply cannot afford it now. Such is life... for most of us Americans. |
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