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| Holiday Markers Back to Enhancing Your Power Supply |
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| by Jennifer Bloome | |||
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Why is it that each year seems to fly faster than the one before? As a child, I can remember feeling like my
birthday, or the 4th of July, or Christmas was never going to arrive. Now, I almost feel compelled to hold my
hands out in front of me to attempt to stop time from slipping through my fingers. Conversations in line at the
grocery store or the hairdresser have the same familiar ring, “Can you believe it’s almost Christmas?” “How can
it be the end of the year already?”
If possible, time seems to fly faster at holiday times. Sure, part of it is the number of activities that get added to the “to do” list. But, the holidays are also the physical markers of our year. They are one of the tangible constants in our fast paced world. Holidays provide the comfortable illusion that time is circular; that we can re-do, or re-live what we didn’t get done, or did poorly the year before. In reality, time moves quickly forward, seemingly “getting away” from us, if we don’t hang on tight. | |||
| More from Jennifer Bloome | |||
| The physical markers of
holidays took on new meaning for me this year. Last year at this time, my husband came home early on a Monday afternoon. I remember hearing his car pull into the garage, glancing at the clock, and thinking how strange it was that he hadn’t called to let me know. As he walked into my home office, I felt my stomach clench and my breath catch when I saw his face. He shared with me that the next time we heard the unemployment stats on the news, he would be one of the people they were talking about. Initial relief spread through me that he didn’t have worse news, something that couldn’t be fixed, like losing a loved one or being diagnosed with a terminal illness. But then, reality set in and neither one of us slept that night. Christmas was a blur that year. We had already shopped and decorated for the holidays, so from the outside, everything looked the same. On the inside, my husband and I couldn’t wait for the holidays to be over so that he could start his job search. People would share their stories of unemployment – how their neighbor had been out of work for 6 months, 10 months, 2 years. Douglas and I were confident that those were the “war” stories; surely they wouldn’t be his story. |
Why Self-Care? Laying the Foundation for Wellness Guilty Pleasures A Brick in the Foundation: Social Support A Brick in the Foundation: Physical Health A Brick in the Foundation: Emotional Health A Brick in the Foundation: Environmental Health A Brick in the Foundation: Spirituality A Brick in the Foundation: Intellectual Health | ||
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As 2002 continued to roll by, I found myself living between holidays. Certainly by Easter he would have a job. Memorial Day would be the end. No? Okay, then Independence Day. Clearly Labor Day would come and he would be off to work that Tuesday. Halloween? Thanksgiving? |
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As the Christmas decorations began going up in the stores in late October and ads on TV began to fill with images of lavish holiday parties and gifts, I found myself tearing up at the slightest jingle of a bell, or the beginning notes of a familiar holiday tune. At first, I didn’t even want to decorate for the holidays – why dress up the fact that we can’t celebrate the way we usually do this year? Then ads began to make me angry: if you didn’t fit into the mold of perfect family giving perfect gifts, the ads weren’t even directed at you. I mourned over the inability to have the perfect holiday. Then, I realized it wasn’t that the holiday or the lack of cash to celebrate wasn’t what was bothering me; the physical marking of time was bothering me. The first full circle of time was about to be complete as the anniversary of his unemployment came closer. So what does this have to do with Self Care? Our comfortable illusion that we can re-do or re-live is not always so comforting. We often place unrealistic expectations on ourselves when it comes time to reflect at the end of a certain time period. We “should” be doing this, or we “should” have completed that. Holidays can pull us into a space where we are focused on many yesterdays or many tomorrows. We can be pulled toward focusing on time that has already passed out of our control, or time that is too far forward to be able to predict. This focus can bring out fear, anger, disappointment, and loneliness. Comparisons – to ourselves or to others – can bring unnecessary stress and keep our thoughts going in circles. As the anniversary of Douglas’ job loss looms on the horizon, I continually remind myself to pull myself into this moment. At this moment, I have all that I need: air to breathe, a warm home, loving family, and a beautiful sparkly tree adorning my living room. The time markers will continue to pass, but staying in this moment provides me all the care that I need. |
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